Politicans, celebrities and other idiots..
Politicians: The local Regional Chair, which is his tittle and not a piece of furniture, after the implementation of a new recycling program under his portfolio, which asked home owners to sort and separate their trash, issues a press release stating that the program is a huge success. Garbage had not been picked up for a week, because the green boxes which are an essential implement of the program had not been delivered to all houses and the contract was awarded to a new company who didn’t know the route therefore missing many of the stops Apparently, this bozo didn’t know that there were 1200 calls per day from residence asking what was going on and the backlog of trash was building up and they did not know when it would be rectified. Typical of politicans he did not have the experience and the savvy to undertake this project and here he is giving himself a congratulatory pat on the back. A ten year old trying to sell lemonade on the corner would of had enough sense to have paper cups on hand to serve to his prospective customers.
Well our reptilian looking, ex school teacher, Premier the Hon. Dalton Mcguinty predicted Tuesday that the province that Ontario will get a new automobile assembly plant and the high paying jobs that are associated with. Same day GM lays off 1000 workers from their Oshawa plant. Mcguinty defends the Liberal goverment’s program to provide direct cash incentives to attaract new manufacturing facilities-while critizing the Federal government’s preferred policy of corporate tax cuts, and says he doesn’t feel betrayed when companies that recieved taxpayers’ money later announce layoffs. Why would he? It’s not his money. You know what they say “Them that can do, them that can’t teach”
Moving on up the political ladder, we have the Honorable Stephen Harper’s statement on George W. Bush at the Three Amigos conference in New Orleans. “What I really appreciate most, what I appreciated in our relationship over the past couple of years, is the fact that whether we disagree or disagree, we are always able to talk frankly, very upfront.” Well the good news they didn’t with their wives give another stirring rendition of when Irish Eyes are Smiling, emulating Ronald Reagen and Brian Mulroney and their spouses. Rarely are we treated to such an example of a middle management lackey sucking up to a dimwitted but powerful boss. How’s the view from in there Stephen?
Another intelligentsia, Michael Ignatieff, when running for the liberal party’s leadership and subsequently lost, partly because he accused Israel of war crimes. In an apparent attempt at damge control, he gave a speech entitled Canada and Israel: A Personal Prespective on the Ties that Bind. “The personal ties that bind me to Israel run deep. My father was a Canadian diplomat and he served as one of Canada’s representatives on the UN Palestine committee that voted for a partition that the Jewish community accepted and the Arab world rejected in 1947. I was born that year and as my father was rushing out of the committee room to get to the hospital, he was stopped in the hallway of the UN by a rabbi who wanted to know how the negotiations were going. My father said he couldn’t say, he could not stop, his son had just been born, whereupon the rabbi gave him-and me- the first religious blessing I ever received”. WTF, why do these Harvard intellectuals, like Ignatieff, turn to ridiculous analogies to make a point or gain sympathy.
Here an ideal slogan for the ruling parties. Hey were not corrupt we are just stupid!
Cheers to the Canadian parliment who elevated the beaver as Canada’s national symbol, thus providing the world fodder for endless double entendre jokes.
Celebrities: Countless examples of these morons who by a quirk of fate gain notoriety and believe they have an opinion that actually matters. Professing knowledge on a multiple range of subjects from politics, religion and what we should eat, that they are only to willing to share with us the common folk. I say go back to one of your multiple homes, kneel down over the bowl and stick your finger in your throat. The majority of them are egotistical, narcassistic, bulimic, nitwits who need constant affirmation of their importance, don’t have the guts to bear their own children for fear that their already surgically altered bodies may show strech marks, and have nothing to offer except to provide mindless entertainment by being self-destructive, suicidal, and occasionaly going off the deep end all captured on film for showing on TV shows for the whole puprose of reminding the masses of that the human race may have limits on intelligence there is no limits on stupidity. Unable to sustain a relationship and constantly screaming for attention they should be pitied not celebrated.
Other mindless idiots: You order two coffee to take out, one black one cream and sugar and the server marks the coffees with a pen Black and the other one Regular. Do they think you’ll forget what you ordered?
You get a flat and you jack up the car and invariably some idiot walks up to you and says “You got a flat?” ”No I rotate my tires every 5000 miles no matter where I am”.
A Forward Look Backwards or Searching for the Elusive Steamie!
Moving to Burlington, I found new friends, explored new locales and adapted my diet to include what was popular in Ontario. Ate lots of chicken and ribs as they are available in most restaurants here, and seem to be the standard food when dining out. Don’t get me wrong, I like roadhouse food, but really, do we need another chicken and rib joint in town? I guess I miss small restaurants who compete by offering varied menus, not just different versions of the same thing. Eventually it all taste the same.
Burlington has Chaps on Plains, Chaps, Gator Teds, Turtle Jacks, Casey’s, Kelsey’s, KFC’s at four locations, Swiss Chalet at five locations, Wings Up, Emma’s Back Porch, Tony Roma’s, Boston Manor, Phillthy McNasty’s, QB’S, Tailgaters, Jack Astors, Joe Dogs, Montana’s and Shoeless Joe’s. If I have omitted a chicken and rib emporium please accept my apology. Maybe it’s a coincidence but the Chicken Farmers of Ontario are headquartered in Burlington.
What if it’s two in the morning, where can you get a steamie with fries? Sorry you can’t. Every ethnic group, German, Chinese, Indian, Mexican, Argentinian, French, Thai, Greek, Italian by the dozens are represented with a restaurant, but alas no French Canadian anywhere. So we are left steamieless in Burlington.
You haven’t lived if you haven’t had half a dozen or so beers and decide to go to Lafleurs for two steamies with fries on the side then go to bed (that should read pass out) and wake up in the middle of the night and you think someone has parked their Hummer on your chest. It probably would of helped if you had chewed a little more thoroughly as the bread, processed meat and beer unite and expand at a formidable rate causing a gaseous cavern in your digestive track. You then speed on to the washroom, with the decision whether you should sit, or kneel at the throne weighing heavily on your throbbing mind. Fear not, as you feel a rumbling below and the gas bubble expands to the point that it ruptures in a rushing jet of foul sulphur like gas. You stumble back to bed, holding your nose and hoping that Environment Canada doesn’t declare your room a Stage Five Bio-Hazard. You then utter a prayer “Dear God, if you let me live through the night I will never, never do it again”.
So in Burlington, instead of another English pub, let an entrepeneur with heritage of being the loser at the Plains of Abraham, venture forth to open a steamie restaurant, thus reeking havoc on the unsuspecting decendants of the conquering Brits. Salut la viste
The Missing Are Linked….
Surely stupidity must have a limit, or is it like the universe, expanding infinitely. Maybe not. Ponder this: If the average person is stupid half of them are stupider than that!
Constantin Carstoniu, a missing 85 year old Toronto man suffers from Alzheimer’s. He drives a 1995 silver-grey Mustang. Am I missing something here? Seriously which idiot bureaucrat issued this man a license? When he renewed his license and he didn’t know his address – that should of been a clue.
The growing numbers of seniors residing in nursing homes in Burlington has given rise to a new service. Bus stops will be placed outside all nursing homes so that when patients wander off in search of places they used to live or family that they remember with long term memory still intact, a bus will pick them up and they will continue on route picking up other seniors who have wandered off. The 2 way radio on board will notify the home and the senior will be deposited on the next go around and be met by the nursing home staff. Mayor Cam Jackson stated “Truly Burlington can be proud with this initiative and families should know that their elderly parents will get fresh air and return home (the home) safely” Jackson went on to say that the city will look for funding from both the provincial and federal governments. When Dalton McGuinty was contacted about this he stated that while transportation fell under the provincial government’s domain he believed that this should fall under social security as that was the responsibility of the feds. Stephen Harper attending a biker rally in Port Dover could not be reached for comment. Ex- mayor Rob MacIsaac commended Jackson on his actions and that while this would be a cornerstone project for which he will be most remembered, that the route should extended to take the seniors to the soon to be completed, Spencer Smith Pier, which locals now refer to as MacIsaac’s Folly. When asked who would drive the bus Jackson said ” I’ll double-cross that bridge when I get to it”.
The Canadian Press reports that a waitress who shaved her head to raise money for a cancer charity was laid off because she refused to wear a wig. What a sympathetic owner. The owner states that some of his customers would be “appalled” to be served by her. Let’s get this woman a job she deserves not the one she has working for an unsympathetic moron. Scratch another restaurant off my must eat there list.
Republican candidate for the American presidency John McCain publicly stated that the US should spend taxpayer dollars on sending a man to Mars. Great idea, how about George Bush as the pilot. Democratic candidate Barrack Obama suggested that a Democrat would be far better and that the importance of the mission dictated that the he would send his Vice President on the voyage as it was time that the space program give women the recognition they deserve.
The only difference between the Conservatives and the Liberals is that the Liberals allow the poor to be corrupt too.
MGM studios announced that a biography of John Paul II will be made with Adam Sandler in the lead role. MGM’s CEO Harry Sloan admitted that casting Sandler in the role was risky, but felt that Sandler’s Jewish roots would bring a needed sensitivity to the part. As for the part of Mother Theresa, Sloan went on to say that the director of the film Steven Spielberg was hoping that Madonna would be available and that his second choice would be Carmen Electra.
Club Links announced today that for a nominal fee blind golfers will be allowed on their courses. Tee-off fees will be 25% less than regular fees and the start times will be 10:00 P.M. through too 4:00 A.M. The advent of GPS tracking on golf carts makes this feasible . The golf carts will be equipped with a grass seed spreader as so far there is no technology for the blind that would enable them to replace divots. The press release went on to state that golf should be available to all and that the initial start up costs of printing scorecards in braille, converting existing parking to handicap parking and having a cart body repair shop, will be offset by the increase revenue. The press release also mentioned that 25 full time and 10 part time jobs would be created.
Paradise Lost – The Death of an Island
One of the most popular vacation destinations is slowly disintegrating into a concrete hell riddled with corruption, trash. over expansion and crime. Sint Maarten/St Martin has been for years a popular cruise ship stop famous for it’s duty free shopping where jewelry, linens and electronics can be found. The uniqueness of the island, two countries on one island mixed with a creole culture , provided visitors with amazing cuisine, visual caribbean scenery and a general feeling that you were welcomed by the locals who were proud of their Island. Dubbed the Friendly Island a marketing gimmick that actually was a fairly accurate depiction and visitors had a chance to live the island life. No compound with walls and security guards, but the opportunity to roam at will exploring different roads and beaches all within an island 38 miles in circumference. There were of course all inclusive hotels for those who just wanted to sit and relax, but you could roam around providing the opportunity to visit 2 countries, checking out various restaurants from high end French cuisine to little shacks serving island foods called lolos. All in all St Martin provided the tourist with exceptional value for the price.
What went wrong? Well, uncontrolled development fostered by greedy speculators, condoned by crooked bureaucrats, illegal immigrants, corrupt police, and a status quo attitude by the politicians who did not have the vision or dedication to oversee the situation, passing the buck and not enacting the necessary measures to stem the tide of over development and thus letting the island beauty and serenity slip by the wayside. Today there are daylight hold ups in the middle of town, constant reports of break ins, stolen cars, motorcycles and tourists being mugged. Earlier this year an American tourist disappeared and has yet to be found. When criminals are convicted the get a slap on the wrists and little more. Guns that were non-existant before are used in robberies and home invasions on an ever increasing occurrence. There is now a movement towards releasing the ties with the Dutch government and pursuing independence. Without the Dutch overseeing them (Lip service attitude at best) I can only for see a banana republic in the future where the police/politicians will run their side of the island as a dictatorship. Sometimes you just aren’t ready for self government.
While all this is happening on the Dutch side of the island, the French side has more of it’s share of issues. The gendarmes who police the French section are assigned there and not residents and seem to care little or the residents, and tourists alike. They literally serve their time and return to France, so they have no investment in the island. While the French have managed to stem the expansion and development they are now suffering because of the high cost of the Euro, which impacts the tourists making the cost of restaurants and shops very expensive. All this leads to less jobs, money, etc. and increase in crime. There are endless reports of co-operation between the two government’s, but this leads to committees to study the problem, but no action is ever taken. They are rearranging the deck chairs while the ship is sinking.
A young American tourist’s body was discovered this week and although he had no wallet on his person when they discovered the body, the authorities are denying any crime was committed and there are no plans to date for an autopsy. As the crime rate increases American tourists are in wonderment as there seems to be no action by the government, even though various travel boards and news outlets are starting to see an increase of concern and people are now starting to search for another vacation place. A local St Martin citizen, business man had this to say about the situation. “I am convinced that the local medias are well aware of many crime and/or incident and choose to not necessary report them, for reason I don’t understand. As far as the government and the politician down here, well it is pretty much like anywhere else in the world… they are not there for the people… they are there for themselves and if they cannot or do not find (monetary…) interest in the problem they aren’t willing to solve it. It is obvious that they do pretty much nothing for the people of St Maarten/St Martin… But watch how they live. the only moment (like anywhere else in the world..) they start to act and do something for the people that’s when election time are coming. And then with all the money they made while being in power they buy the vote from the people! The system is rotten. I sincerely believe they don’t give a damn! Most of them invested their money in Aruba or Curacao and that’s where they will go to retire. For them the island is the “milky cow”… they don’t see long term. You never hear them addressing the crime issue. I will be surprised if they do so even after a media campaign regarding the increase of criminality. Like I said they are too busy making money for themselves”. This resignment to the situation from a long time entrepreneur who has stringently defended the island gives credence that the island is on a slippery slope. he goes on to comment on the French side, “Look at the French side! the President L.C. Fleming had to step down and is unelectable for one year because the election commission in Paris rejected his campaign finance account! and we are without President since a week…It says it all… On the Dutch side The Hague doesn’t even control the way Paris is doing, so imagine..”
So what will the future bring to the island? Well, no one knows for sure but with the world economy in tatters, crime unchecked, over development, the weak American dollar and new venues emerging competing for the tourist dollar, chances are that the island will continue to slide and a one time great vacation spot will be forever tarnished.
The Religious Right – The Devil’s Disciples.
I think the most frightening aspect concerning the religious right is their addiction to the belief that they are right. They believe that they are the only ones right on any issue. However, like most addicts they do not respond to logic, sound arguments or anyone who may differ in opinion.
The victims of these fanatics are foreigners, people of colour, gays, and of course anyone who does not take the bible as the final word on what is right or wrong. They proliferate politics and use their fundamentalist beliefs to intimidate anyone who does not agree with them. If you are not afraid of these terrorists, well you should be. Say or write anything that they disagree with and they circle the wagons, not to defend themselves but to attack with a fervour that borders on fanatical. During the last eight years (the Bush era) attacks on personal freedoms unparalleled in the history of the free world. The Bush administration has enacted laws that allow he government is monitoring your phone calls and can read your e-mails and open your snail mail. The government can access records of your large financial transactions, such as buying a house. Law enforcement officers can bust into your home when you’re not there, riffle through your belongings, plant a recording device on your computer, and leave without notifying you for at least thirty days — and maybe a lot more.You no longer have the right to protest where the president or vice president can see you, or at major public events when they aren’t even present.Law enforcement officers can now monitor you in public if you are merely exercising your political rights.They can infiltrate your political organizations. And they can keep track of you at your place of worship. The government can find out from bookstores and libraries the material you’ve been reading, and the bookstore owner and the librarian can’t talk about it, except to their lawyers, for a whole year — or more.The government can hold you in preventive detention for months on end as a “material witness.” If you’re not a citizen the government can deport you on a technicality or for mere political association. So much for the home of freedom.
Now, as Bush’s popularity plummets, a new wave of feelings is sweeping the United States. The demand for change is sweeping the country, yet the religious right continues their attacks on their political opponents , while ignoring the real needs of the people, focusing on lies, innuendo bordering on slander as their need for power far outweighs the needs of the people they claim to support. The election in the States has polarized the voting public into two groups one led by a charismatic young black man and the other by an erratic rich old man who will do and say anything to ensure that he and his crony friends retain power, while ignoring his Friends needs as if he has any friends. is only claim to fame that he has been riding since the Vietnam War was his internment in a jungle prison. This “war hero” has used this as the reason he is fit to lead. What is the corellation between leadership and interment, however brutal that interment was transfer into the ability to lead. Totally ignored, is his record as a human being. One who lives the life of a multimillionaire, cheated and left his wife for a younger woman. This is who the religious right has chosen as the man to run the nation. This man hired spin doctors who character assasinated him during his quest for the republican party leadership. Character apparently not the criterion that accurately describes him.
Apparently, he was god driven when he chose his running mate. Another religious right wing bimbo light weight who advocates pro-life yet encourages lies, deceit and applauds as some moronic follower yells “kill the opponent”. What minimum IQ level entittles someone to attend one of these political rallys? They must bus them in from some residence for idiots.
Hiding behind patriotism, they continue to spew hate and disdain to anyone who disagrees with them. How god like!
Simpleton’s Addicted to Power and Greed
With no respect for the people who who elected them, provide them with an opportunity to improve the lives of their fellow citizens, the Canadian government has sunk to a new low. Politicians who are now below used car salesmen in the seedy scale are fighting among themselves creating allies with past enemies so they can seize power from a duly elected government under the claim that the financial crisis is the most urgent matter before the government and they must bring it down so they can solve it. So from the darkness, a communist/socialist with no idea of finance, a separatist who sole aim is to breakup the country and a lame duck leader who led his party to it’s lowest showing in history in the last election. These three stooges, with no disrespect to Larry, Moe and Shep, are probably the worst example of low life politicians ever to disgrace the parliament of Canada. Not that the esteem Stephen Harper is blameless and probably in a move to crush his opposition took a gamble and lost. There is a time to go all in but this was not the time. So again the politicians totally disregard the populous and shaft the Canadian citizen.
Pierre Elliott Trudeau must of turned in his grave when his son Justin Trudeau a first time elected member agreed with these three scumbags totally ignoring the hate of his father by the separatist movement and agreeing with the leader of the Liberal party to go along with this unholy alliance. Apparently the acorn does fall far from the oak. Shame on you Justin, we had such high hopes. Oh well, more like his mother than his father, too bad for him, worse for us.
So now what? While these greedy self-serving low lifes wallow in their own self importance, the auto industry, the steel industry, manufacturing in all provinces falling to new lows they parade themselves on television spitting out rhetoric that does little to comfort the Canadian people who are facing the gravest financial crisis since the Great Depression with no solutions, no comprimise and even among the unholy trio can’t even agree on what to do. One states that they can work together if the Prime Minister makes major concessions, the other says there is nothing he can do and the third the separatist leader is straining to restrain himself from displaying his glee and will return to Quebec armed further with reasons to push his agenda aided and abetted by the other two in this alliance. Shame on Stephane Dion, shame on Jack Layton, shame on Stephen Harper for putting your personal agendas in deference to the oath you took.
Just when you thought it could not get worse the parliment has been prorogued. Fortuneately Canada has no pressing issues. Economy is fine, the big three automakers are making money hand over fist, we are pulling out of Afghanistan and bringing our soldiers home. So this is Christmas in Canada, while the country is facing it’s greatest financial crisis, we marked the death of three of our soldiers bringing the grim total to one hundred, the elected take an extended holiday thanks to Stephen Harper and the three imbeciles of the coalition who put their personal ambitions ahead of the people that they are supposed to help. Let’s prorogue their expenses, salary and other perks that they abuse and force these lowlifes back to work. Another lump of COALition for the country courtesy of elected.
If they gave Canada an enema the hose should be shoved in none too gently into the House of Commons!
A Quarter into 2009 and I’m Getting Really Pissed Off!
Yeah, I know I’m complaining again, but WTF, the weather been crap, we have a non functioning government. It’s not enough that they have no answers to any problems they can’t leave bad enough alone. No not these self appointed custodians of what’s right and wrong, they have to add to everyones misery. Like the proverbial bad carpenter who is trying to balance a table they keep chopping away at our legs until we are all on the ground eating Japanese style. That is if they can leave us enough funds to buy food. Now, Dalton McGuinty the Premier of Gross Incompetence has decided to initiate harmonizing of taxes to ease the cost burden on businesses. This short sighted ex-school teacher ( Those that can do, those that can’t well teach) justifies this saying that the businesses will pass down the savings to the consumer. I mean really Dalton, if you really believe that let me put it in your mouth and if you don’t like I’ll pull it out. Of course he knows it won’t happen but the payoffs from his corporate masters will benefit him as well as the rest of his political lackey cronies.
Now, moving up the ladder of political inefficiency we have the federal government who along with the provincial government are burning, dare I say billions, in a futile attempt to save failing automobile companies who have run themselves into the ground by producing poor products, screwing their customers, and not having the foresight to produce cars that people would actually want to buy. Citing that they want to save jobs in Canada as their excuse for pissing our money away, they neither have the vision to see the errors in their judgement nor the balls to stand up to these executive peanut counters who have ignored the calls from their own engineers, sales people to heed their advice and correct the obvious problems that these people have been telling them for years. “Why I have a Chrysler and it runs fine”, well sure it does Mr. Chrysler CEO, every day some kiss ass takes your car and brings into the factory to have it checked. What would you know about how your product works? Nothing.
Then there is the other side of the equation the CAW, who don’t want to take a 30% cut in what ever you have been overpaid for decades. Well guess what Mr. Union Dumb-ass, 30% off is better than 100% off with no chance of anything coming back. That’s what the majority of people over 50 suffered as their savings eroded away in RSP’s. Did the government give anything to them. They could of extended the mandatory cashing in of RSP’s at 70 a couple of years to give seniors a chance to make a small recovery, but again, the political lacklustres missed an opportunity to actually do something for their constituents.
Well at the low end of the political spectrum are the local city and district mongrols who are possibly on par intelligence wise with a gerbil. The lure of the spotlight as they smile and wave as they enter a restaurant or bar with their kiss ass assistants is enough to make a grown man want to puke. I mean we go to the bar and drink to forget our problems not to to be reminded by these stiffs how bad things are really. Do everyone a favour, STAY HOME!!
Well, here another group of dirtbags who deserve a circumcison with a rusty corkscrew !TICO, you know them the travel industry industry watch dog. These self serving scumbags knew that the Conquest Travel Co. was going out of business. Did they help the people they are supposed to protect? No way, they stuck their bureaucratic little heads in the sand and left Canadian vacationers stranded and in some cases held hostage by unscrupulous resorts with threats of jail. Here a suggestion, this company or government agency should make total retribution to the people they let down, and if they go bankrupt good riddance and whatever they get in fees on every ticket you buy we save. I never understood why the people cut Marie Antoinette’s head off on the guilottine but I’m starting to get it. Off with their heads!
What really amazes me is how does a bonafide war hero who withstood the torture, degradation and humiliation that was imposed on him, to preserve what is good in America, find himself associated with this band of lunatics? When was the moment that he gave up on his principles? What did the devil promise him?
Half Time 2009
Well half the year is gone and it seems like yesterday that we were celebrating the Christmas holidays. The economy went down the shitter, thousands of people have lost their jobs and homes but hopefully have not lost hope. The longer I am on this planet the more Iam convinced that I probably came from another galaxy. Unfortunately I do not possess super powers that other space travellers seem to possess, well in the movies anyway.
What would I do if indeed I did have super powers, would I use these powers wisely? Well not being the patient type especially with what I call Natural Born Assholes. Hmm! where would I start? Probably close to home as there is no shortage of the aforementioned around here. Well I’m off to the city hall good place as any to start. I would not fly or leap at a single bound but rather drive which will feed my desire to perform a radical circumcision on the traffic department who has in it’s employ some mental midget with the IQ of a termite who has set up the traffic lights to vary their signal so that no one knows what’s up next. Do I have an advance green? Not this time maybe the next time just like it was the time before I stopped at the light. So I’m sitting at the light with three cars behind me and I know that because there was no advance green that I will probably sneak through on the orange and the now five cars behind me will can only hope that they will get the advance green. So now as I head to the city hall my curiosity is peaking and wondering who’s idiot brother in law has received this nepotistic job appointment. So I get to the hall and ask to speak to the idiot brother in law who then proceeds to tell me that this is scientifically controlled based on statistics they receive from sensors on the traffic lights. “Bullshit” I say and with the super powers that I received when I landed on earth I grab him by the crotch and fly him to the same light only to see that the five cars that were there are now less the two that snuck though on the last orange light are now eight, proceed to tie this dimwit to the light standard and make available over ripe fruit for the masses to pelt him with their dissatisfaction. Hopefully a lesson learned. Keep it simple!
Well after this I head to the LCBO ( Liquor store) to purchase a well deserved adult beverage, after all this super hero stuff raises quite a thirst. Hey, apparently they are threatening to go on strike. They need more money, benefits guarantees, etc. Well their friggin clerks making three times the money that retail clerks normally make. They stack shelves and as long as they remember to put the label facing towards the customer they have done a good job. Even if they fuck up you can’t fire the twit. Their union which has got the government to cow tow to their demands will threaten to close down or walk off if the twit is censored. Fire the twit, get somebody who has an IQ of over 50 in his or her place. But hey the government is making billions on booze sales, which they tax to the hilt, so they tolerate this. Well screw the government! I proceed to use my super powers to as right after I make my purchase I use my heat ray to reset all the interact machines so that all purchases that are made at that store are credited to the buyers account. Maybe I should of bought more, oh well.
As I soar over the city of Toronto I am disturbed by the odour that is emanating from garbage that has not been picked up in over a week because workers have again walked out over a benefit that makes no sense but was given to them by a spineless administration and fostered by a mayor who would make an ideal poster boy for The Society of Perpetual Stupidity who set up a program to deposit garbage in city parks where children are supposed to recreate and people go to to relieve the stress of daily life. My first instinct was to gather all this garbage and deposit it in the yards of the union leaders, the city councillors and they mayor’s yards to see how fast they would come to an agreement. Oh no that’s too good for these morons. I decide gather all the garbage from all the parks and deposit it in the Rogers Center and throw all these idiots in their and make sure the dome is closed and the AC is off. Kind of a crock pot for crackpots. What do you think would they survive a day? It would really be nice to see them on close circuit TV, bet you the ESPN would grab this in a heartbeat. Even if the settled in a day I’d leave them there for a month. Willing to wager it would be a long time before the next strike. Hey they would not starve to death, plenty of leftovers. Oh yeah I’d get that reptilian ex school teacher who poses as the Premier of Ontario added to the stew. See how we are moving up the evolutionary government incompetency scale, first the city incompetents, then the provincial incompetents and what else the federal government.
Here’s a hint to the Prime Minister. “Get our troops out of Afghanistan” or at least volunteer your children to serve. They are getting older, but that won’t happen will it.
So how to use my super powers to right the injustices committed by the feds. Well cruising over the Rideau canal I spot the Parliament buildings and land on the front lawn. The first thing I do is enter the senate chambers and install an alarm that goes off every three minutes with a resounding boom. They can go home to sleep and do nothing. Let’s convert the space they occupy to a homeless shelter. After the old senate arts vacated the senate, I would saunter over to the House of Commons which is aptly named as they all have something in common, most have been convicted of something illegal from DUI to hiring prostitutes. I would remove the Speaker of the house and tell him that he is fired, no particular reason, I felt like it. I guess the atmosphere in there effects all who enter. Assuming the speakers chair I would get the proceedings off and running with the business of the day which is doing what they were elected to do, run the country. Oh yeah new rules! The first asshole who iinterupts anyone who is speaking with even a whimper I would decend from my chair and personnaly grab his head and insert it in his asshole then return them to their seat. No favourites here as I don’t give a rat’s ass which side your on. You are a Canadian and as a Canadian elected official you will act like a grownup and if you don’t your head is up your ass. Oh yeah, the house is no longer having a summer recess. Two weeks holidays just like everyone else. After five years, three weeks, which by the way you can only take as two and one or one three times during the year. All expenses will now have to be approved by the new speaker of the house. No limos, drive or walk just like everyone else. The goverment cafeteria is out of bounds and will be used the homeless who now live where the senators use to doze. Personnal assistants, a thing of the past, your working full time now dude! Oh yeah no review every election as I’d fire you sorry ass as soon you fuck up. Miss one deadline and your history, and if you don’t show up you better have one hell of a doctor’s note.
I’m thinking that things would start to get done and while we may not live happily ever after, it’s a start.
Well really we are still in the toilet and with the present level of politicos that are running the country and what’s waiting in the wings to replace them, the most that we can hope for at best is to cling to the rim of the bowl and pray we don’t get flushed totally into the septic system.
Where do we start? How about the provincial leader of the Liberal party in Ontario whose government is so mired in financial scandals that he must raise the taxes of the people so he can offset the waste that his party of even-toed ungulates, who barely have the time to raise their filthy heads from gouging themselves at the public trough by introducing a bill that will add to the tax burden of the average citizen under the guise that it will save businesses billions and they will then pass it on to the consumer. The most scary part of this is not the fact that we will be gouged once again but this under achieving political moron actually believes this. They say we elect the politicians that we deserve. WTF did we do to deserve this simpleton? Surely Ontarians are not on the whole a cruel people. Are we suffering from a collective flashback from a massive drug reaction directly related to the total of all the drugs ingested, snorted, or taken rectally in the sixties?
Our country has buried over one hundred and thirty young men and women who have served our politicians desire to placate their American neighbours by involving this country in a war in Afghanistan. The Prime Minister answer to critics who demand to bring troops back is that the previous government is responsible and they put the troops back. Again this flawless logic is enough to make the average citizen throw their arms up in despair. In the total history of Afghanistan no one has been able to bring peace to that area or to conquer the region. The USSR suffered a embarrassing defeat and so will the west. Time to get out plain and simple. This is in no way a disrespect to our troops but a realistic appraisal of our fortunes.
Are all politicians corrupt? Yes, they are all and the only thing that separates them is the currency. Whether, it is cash, sports tickets, free meals the mere fact that they accept these is proof enough. Does anyone think that they go to a hockey game with someone’s company ticket that these tickets/meals are not tax-deductible? So they are fleecing the public larder when they accept these. Remove the tax credit for companies that purchase these over priced private boxes and you will never ever see a politician in an arena, stadium, theater box unless they purchase the tickets themselves. Like that is ever going to happen.
Everyday we hear of miss management and if that is not disheartening enough we then hear of the bonuses that these under performers/thieves get and we wonder why we teach our children to be honest, respectful of others and their rights, you know the Golden Rule bullshit. Well that is not the recipe for success in this world. Lie, cheat and grab all you can get and screw the others. Fuck them, I was here first. entitlement! The watch word of the elite. The rules apply to everyone else but not to them. You know who I mean, you see them every day. They park in the handicap parking, even though they are not handicapped, unless you consider their huge pot bellies and asses that are a result of their favourite pastime, stuffing their faces with huge quantities of food they certainly don’t need, a handicap. They have pets that they do not pick up after, their children are at local stores begging for money to subsidized their meaningless sports endeavors, under the watchful eyes of their parents who drove the little shit heads in their gas guzzling SUV from their huge house to beg money. Give me a friggin break buy a smaller car, and the money you save from the purchase not to mention the reduced fuel cost should be enough to get little Logan, Todd or Jennifer to Russia or wherever the little indulged cookie cutter boring little stiffs want to go. Well they don’t really want to go, their yuppie over bearing mindless parents want them to go so they can brag about the fact at their next meaningless social gathering. “Connor went to Russia”. Well Fuck Connor!
“Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional liberal minority and by the mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.”
Ice Cold Logic 
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